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User blog:Awesomesix/Total Drama ERB: Rizachulous Race S1E04- Whatcha China Do?
The teams all fly to China, where they brawl on the Wall. Some teams learn what it feels like to be toast, when they get slapped with a penalty by the host, one team's love is tested by a member's lack of strength, and a recently revealed antagonist flexes his muscles; but is he good, or just a pest bound to bite the dust soon? And who will leave, being the canvas to the art of war? It's all here, right now! Episode Whatcha China Do? *The camera cuts to Zach Sherwin, standing on the Great Wall of China, with Sun Tzu practicing martial arts on a dummy behind him.* Zach Sherwin: Last time on Rizachulous Race we took a little trip to a dance hall in Russia… *The scene of everyone dancing plays.* Zach Sherwin: Some people got the cold. *Romeo tumbling into a snowball is shown.* Zach Sherwin: Some people got the cold shoulder. *Gorgo kicking Leonidas in the groin is shown.* Zach Sherwin: But now, things will be getting hot and heavy, martial and artsy, great and wallsy, and most of all, challenging, when the test truly starts on… The Rizachulous Race. *Sun Tzu bows behind Zach, while a gong goes off, startling Zach. Now, it’s episode intro time.* Zach Sherwin (voice over): Things are falling into place, here in this competition. In the first place are Puppy Love, Scientists, Extremists, and Magicians. Flight B is Criminals, Queens, Failing Marriage, and Wyld Stallyns. Flight C contains Detectives, Hosts, Generation Gap, and Love Birds. Flight D has the losers; Secret Identities, Rebels, Cunning, and Barbarics. Flight A took off an half hour ago; flight B fifteen. Flight C is leaving now, and flight C has fifteen minutes to wait. Let’s see how the contestants handle the heat. *The sun is rising. The camera is on Flight A, with Romeo, Juliet, Adam S., Jamie, Lee, Eastwood, David, and Houdini. Romeo is covered in blankets next to Juliet, who’s feeding him hot chocolate. David is sleeping with a red sleeping mask, Houdini with a pale brown one, 3 rows back, both on the right side. Jamie and Adam are on the left, Adam reading a science magazine, Jamie staring out the window from the aisle seat. 4 seats behind them, Lee looks out the window enraged, Eastwood calmly eating spaghetti. The camera cuts to Romeo and Juliet.* Juliet (to camera): Oh, we got first, yes! I love it! Romeo (still cold): Yaeh uh… Juliet (to camera): But with poor Romeo frozen, I doubt it will last much longer! *Juliet slowly pours more hot chocolate in Romeo’s mouth as he tries to grab the cup, too busy moving his hands up and down his arms, cold.* Juliet: Don’t stress yourself, Romeo. Just relax… *Juliet leans back in her seat, closing her eyes. Romeo eyes the mug nervously on the armrest as it begins to slide towards his crotch, squealing through closed teeth. The camera cuts to Houdini and Copperfield, both smiling while sleeping. Jamie peeps onto the camera, slowly moving his arm for a bag of peanuts by Copperfield. Somehow noticing, Copperfield slaps his wrist, otherwise motionless, still smiling.* Jamie Hyneman: Darnit. *The camera cuts to Jamie getting back over into the window seat, shoving by Adam.* Adam Savage (to camera): I’ve been revising our dance this whole time. Jamie Hyneman: I’ve been strategizing. Adam Savage (to camera): We’re good at cooperating like this. I do the cool things that matter very little, Jamie does the very little things that end up being cool. Jamie Hyneman: I won’t admit our strategies, but they kick butt. Adam Savage: I don’t doubt you, my friend. *The camera moves back to Bruce Lee and Clint, the latter still eating spaghetti, the former still glaring out the window.* Bruce Lee: How can you eat at a time like this? Clint Eastwood: I’m hungry. Bruce Lee: Well, eating too late will make you sick during the challenge! Clint Eastwood: Whatever. *Clint pokes the meatball with his fork, distracted by Adam and Jamie.* Bruce Lee: What is it? Clint Eastwood: I have a bad feeling about them… if they can run as well as they dance, we’ve got some serious competition. Bruce Lee: I have a bad feeling about everyone! Get used to it, let it fuel you! *Eastwood stabs the meatball, picking it up.* Clint Eastwood: I’m going to let this meatball fuel me first. *Eastwood happily eats the meatball, Bruce Lee getting angrier.* Bruce Lee: Don’t be happy! We’re suffering the most right now, we only got third! No one is suffering as much as me! *The camera cuts to Caesar, annoyed in his seat, next to Zulu, asleep and listening to earbuds. Miley is peering over the plane seat behind them, bugging him about random things.* Miley Cyrus: So, Augustus, what’s it like, having, like, an entire month named after you? Julius Caesar: The plane hasn’t even taken off and I already want to jump out. George Washington (off camera): I’ll help you do it! Julius Caesar: Put a sock in it, Betty White. *Caesar looks over at Bonnie and Clyde making out, then slumps down in his seat, sighing.* *The camera cuts to Flight B, with Capone trying to flirt with Cleopatra, plane in the air, Cleopatra trying to talk to Monroe about Caesar in the middle seat, Monroe by the window.* Al Capone: So, how ya likin’ the plane so far? Suits ya well if I say so myself. Cleopatra: What does that mean? Al Capone: It means you- Marilyn Monroe: It means you should shut up and get lost, freak! Ahem! *Marilyn Monroe leans to Cleopatra’s ear, on her right.* Marilyn Monroe (whispering): Okay, remember how I said we’d use love to our advantage before we arrived? Now’s your chance to do it! Cleopatra (whispering): How so? Marilyn Monroe (whispering): Use his love to your advantage, hell-o! *Cleopatra looks over at Capone, nervously blushing in the aisle. The plane hits turbulence and he falls over, still smiling suavely at Cleo.* Cleopatra (whispering): Alright, what should I do? *Monroe whispers inaudibly in Cleopatra’s ear.* Cleopatra: Hey, Ca-pone!~ Al Capone: M-me? What is it? Cleopatra: Mind getting me a wa-ater?~ Al Capone: Yes, ma’am! Right away! *Capone runs offscreen. The two giggle. Ted pops over the seats, eavesdropping.* Ted: Heheheheh… why’re we laughing? *Monroe looks at the screen, unamused. The camera moves to Leonidas and Gorgo, sitting in opposite sides of the plane, both in middle seats.* Leonidas (to camera): I don’t know what I did… Gorgo hates me, and it’s all my fault… should I talk to her? Nah… I can ask Adam and Clyde… maybe- Monroe! That’s it, I’ll ask her! *Blackbeard walks up next to Leonidas and sits in the aisle seat, scratching his nose.* Blackbeard: Yargh, what ye be puttin’ on yer diary? Leonidas: Uh… what? Nevermind! I need to do something! *Leonidas gets up and scoots out of the row, walking over to Monroe.* Leonidas: Monroe, I need your help. Marilyn Monroe: Yes? Leonidas: I’ve apparently upset Gorgo… being a woman, what should I do? *Marilyn and Cleopatra look at each other, thinking.* (Confessional): Monroe and Cleopatra *Monroe sits on the left, Cleo on the right. Both have evil grins.* Marilyn Monroe: Oh, this game is getting too easy. The fodders are practically begging for us to stomp them! *Both of them laugh.* END CONFESSIONAL *The camera cuts to Plane C, with Oprah and Ellen sitting in their seats, Ellen looking out the window on her right, Oprah reading one of her own magazines.* Ellen DeGeneres: That cloud looks like a kitten… that one’s a bear… that one an airplane… Oprah Winfrey: Can you save this for after we get fully in the air? Ellen DeGeneres: Sorry! *The camera pans to Dr. Watson, sitting by himself as Sherlock uses the bathroom, sipping tea, writing on a notepad. Adam approaches him.* Adam: Say… what’s up? Dr. Watson: Hello. Adam: So… wanna make an alliance? Dr. Watson: N- wha? Adam: Uh, we can agree to work together, win everything, make it to the finale! An alliance! Dr. Watson: I k-jingle my bells and prince my charming! *Adam turns to Eve behind him, loudly whispering. Watson clearly hears them.* Adam (“whispering”): Eve, I told you he’s stupid. I’ll just tell him to work with us! *Adam turns back to Watson, who stops listening and pretends to draw scribbles.* Adam: Let’s work together, buddy! How about it? *Watson puts on a dumb smile and nods his head rapidly. Adam hides a chuckle and leaves, waving.* Dr. Watson (to himself): I’m sure it won’t be too ''hard to split these two… time to put myself to the test… we’ll see who’s laughing soon, Adam! ''*Beethoven walks by Watson, hearing this. Quickly, he turns around, startling Watson.* Beethoven: Say, Watson, what’re you talking about? Dr. Watson: Creamy memes! Beethoven: Sure you are… *Beethoven walks to the row three seats behind and on the left of the plane from Watson, in the middle seat, next to Bieber, who’s listening to music and texting.* Beethoven: Say, Bieber, I think we should keep an eye on Watson and Sherlock. Justin Bieber (over music): Why? They’re morons! Beethoven: I’m pretty sure I heard Watson talking smack about Adam… *Beethoven glances over at Watson, who’s looking back at him from behind his seat, writing.* Justin Bieber: “Talking smack”? God, you’re so out of the loop. Beethoven: Whatever… let’s keep an eye on him… *The camera pans back to Watson.* Dr. Watson (to self): Keep eye… on Beethoven. *Zach narrates as Plane A lands in China.* Zach Sherwin: Things get a little tense as the first Four from yesterday frolic from their flight freely! Alliteration amazes all, agreed? I’ll stop now… *Romeo, Juliet, Lee, Eastwood, Adam, Jamie, David, and Harry all run from the plane; Lee doing cartwheels, and Jamie with his arms to his side. Romeo reaches the Battle Box and presses the button.* Romeo: “Where The Sun Does Shine”...? Solo battle… one teammate must successfully knock over Sun Tzu without majorly injuring him, while the other watches, and cannot interfere… sounds easy enough. Sun Tzu: Think fast! *Sun Tzu karate chops the Battle Box, causing Romeo to squeal and faint. Sun Tzu laughs as Bruce Lee grabs the Suggestion Tzu activated.* Bruce Lee: Sounds eas- and the one who pushed the cart cannot do it? Really? *the camera cuts to Zach Sherwin, a long distance away, on a Safety Napkin.* Zach Sherwin: Really. The teammate who pushed the cart has to watch from a distance, and once they knock him over, make their way, over to me. All the way…. *The camera flips back to the starting area with Sun Tzu, then quickly zooms to Zach, taking a few seconds.* Zach Sherwin: Here. *The camera cuts to Clint Eastwood, thumbs in pockets, walking in a circle around Sun Tzu.* Clint Eastwood: Let’s go, mano a mano, pardner. Sun Tzu: Agreed. *Clint rushes to kick Sun Tzu’s legs, only for Sun to watch patiently and grab his arm, twisting it.* Clint Eastwood: Aieee! Bruce Lee: You fight like a child! Like… *Lee and the camera both look over at Romeo, chewing his nails nervously. Juliet has her arms wrapped around his, trying to comfort him.* Bruce Lee: Like Romeo! Romeo: Hey! *As Clint Eastwood walks over to Bruce to wait out their next go, the two hear a thump and a yell as Sun hits the ground, the Magicians running off.* Sun Tzu: What? Bruce Lee: Of course they did! *While Adam Savage approaches Sun, the next plane manages to arrive. Blackbeard, Capone, Bill, Ted, Cleo, Monroe, Leonidas, and Gorgo all run off.* Leonidas: So, Monroe, that’s all I need to do? Marilyn Monroe: Precisely. All there is to it! *Leonidas smiles and runs off, Cleopatra and Monroe giggling. As they reach the suggestion box, Bill and Ted just finishing reading, and Monroe hits the button, Capone shows up, Blackbeard behind him.* Al Capone: So, what else do you want, ma’am? Cleopatra: Uh… so the challenge is to fight this Sunny D guy, right? Could you, like, fight for me or something? Al Capone: My pleasure, m’lady. *Monroe and Cleo cringe, then feign a smile when he looks at them. Him and Blackbeard run off without their tip. Leonidas arrives and tries to warn Capone, much to the two ladies’ dismay.* Leonidas: Hey, Capone, you forgot your sugg- *Cleo elbows him in the gut, causing him to fall over. Gorgo walks past, laughing. The camera goes to the contestants fighting Sun Tzu, with Al Capone getting in a fighting stance, Romeo walking away rubbing his left arm, black eye on his left eye.* Al Capone: You ready, man? Sun Tzu: I am always ready. I never underestimate an opponent! Al Capone: Good, cause you’ll need to be ready for this! *Capone rushes madly to punch Sun, only for Sun to trip him, then put a foot on his back, gently holding him down. Capone flails his arms madly.* Sun Tzu: Although I do not underestimate, I do not over''estimate either. For you, my friend, no estimation is to be made. Now please move and let the next one fight me. ''*Al Capone gets up from the ground, and Gorgo approaches him.* Sun Tzu: Ah, a lady. Flexible and strong, I predict many swift moves from- *Sun Tzu doubles over in pain as Gorgo kicks him in the crotch, and walks away yawning. Leonidas follows behind her.* Leonidas: Way to go, babe! Now, I have something to tell you! *All the teams watch Sun struggle to get up, breathing heavily.* Sun Tzu: Give me… ten minutes… *All the teams groan. The camera cuts to flight C, landing now. Adam, Eve, Beethoven, Bieber, Oprah, and Ellen all run to the checkpoint. Watson waits impatiently by the steps, no sign of Sherlock.* Dr. Watson (to camera): Great… this is why I try hiding the crumpets from him. Now we’re going to fall majorly behind, and potentially go home. It’s a shame I have to go without trying my strategy… wait. If I idle and wait for him, I can meddle with the other teams! Brilliant! *Watson watches as the plane takes off, shouting and yelling to get the pilot’s attention.* Dr. Watson: No, no no! Turn that plane around, I demand you! Listen to me! *Watson is blown back by the blast from flight, falling on his butt.* Dr. Watson: Oh, drat. I guess I’ll just do whatever, then. Competition, prepare yourself! *Shaking his left fist, Watson laughs evilly, gets up, and runs to the suggestion box. Shaking himself into role, he hits the button as Adam and Eve leave, reads the card, and sighs.* Dr. Watson (to himself): Hey, maybe I do have a shot… Adam: Say, buddy! Let’s work on our alliance, alright? Dr. Watson: Alliance? Shambling! Eve: Yeah! Let’s kick some butt! *Watson walks off camera behind them, grinning maliciously at the camera. It then shows Oprah, rolling up her sleeves, glaring at Sun.* Sun Tzu: You are a wise opponent, Oprah. I cannot see myself winning swiftly. You have an advantage in age and wisdom; your yoga has made you a very complex machine. Oprah Winfrey: Oh, why thank you! *Sun Tzu trips Oprah, landing on her back.* Sun Tzu: But also quite arrogant, if I must add. *Oprah stands up, pulling off her earrings as Ellen tries to pull her back.* Oprah Winfrey: Oh, sir, it is on! You will never see the Sun again after I rearrange your face! Ellen DeGeneres: She doesn’t mean it, she’s just mad! (Confessional): Oprah and Ellen *Oprah sits on the left, arms crossed and eyes closed. Ellen sits on the right, concerned.* Oprah Winfrey: Thank you for holding me back, Ellen. I needed that. Ellen DeGeneres: No problem, it- Oprah Winfrey: But I still want to KILL THAT SON OF A- *Oprah lunges at the camera, startling Ellen, as it cuts to static.* END CONFESSIONAL *The camera cuts to the final plane landing. Bonnie, Clyde, Miley and Joan all run, only to be shoved aside by Caesar, Zulu, Washington and Wallace.* Julius Caesar: Out of my way, fodder! William Wallace: I could say the same to you right now! *The four run up to the Suggestion Box on the great wall, both hit it, and read it. Caesar and Washington rub their hands together maniacally, Washington heading to wait in line with the rest of the fighters, sans Miley, Bonnie, and Romeo, while Caesar goes over to Monroe..* Julius Caesar: So, Monroe, how’s Cleopatra doing? Marilyn Monroe: Fine, considering you pretty much broke her. Now scram! Don’t you need to fight, or something? Julius Caesar: Oh, that’s lovely to know. I see she still has feelings. I harbor none, so I couldn’t care less. Unless it messes her up, then I’m willing to try love again. Marilyn Monroe: In case you couldn’t tell, she’s hooked up with- him! *Monroe points to Capone, getting punched in the guts. Julius begins to laugh hysterically.* Julius Caesar: I doubt even Cleopatra would sink that low… what are you, blind? Marilyn Monroe: Well, you know what they say, love’s blind… Julius Caesar: Yeah, but it’s not deaf. I trust Cleo to make good decisions; why else would she have dated me? *Wallace starts to laugh next to Caesar, who punches him in the gut, quieting him.* Marilyn Monroe: Whatever. Hmmph. *Cleo walks over, rubbing her right cheek, which Sun punched.* Julius Caesar: Hello, Cleo. Cleopatra: H-hi! Wh-why aren’t you in line? Julius Caesar: So, I heard you’re dating Capone now, right? *Cleopatra barfs over the wall, surprising Monroe. Caesar puts his hands on his hips and looks at Monroe with a cocky “told you so” look. The camera cuts over to Bonnie, Clyde, Adam, Eve, and Watson, with Eve, Bonnie, and Watson readying to fight.* Adam: So, Clyde, like my new partner? Clyde Barrow: That guy? Ain’t he like, one nail short o’ a house or somethin’? Adam (whispering): Yeah, that’s the point. We’ll drag him along, getting him in trouble, get him and Sherlock off the show, and we win! Sounds nice, right? *Watson hears this, smiles diabolically, and steps up to Sun Tzu.* Sun Tzu: Okay, let’s go. I see you like to pretend to be stu- *Watson spins in a circle, slapping Sun in the face, and quickly pushes him in the stomach with his foot, toppling him over.* Dr. Watson: Princess tea time! Jolly good! *Watson runs off to the next challenge, Adam and Eve following.* Bonnie Parker: Why they leavin’? Clyde Barrow: Eh, they think them there alliance means they can go. Bonnie Parker: Idiots. They’ll probably get penalized or some’in. *The camera cuts to Adam, Eve, and Watson arriving at the second challenge, with Leonidas and Gorgo arguing, Leonidas more out of sadness than anger, holding their Suggestion Card. Eve pushes the button on the Battle Box, and reads their challenge.* Eve: “Lao Tzu- The Segway”. Team battle. Each team must ride a Segway over to the Safety Napkin… seems fair. *Adam, Eve, and Watson get on a Segway, but the former two hear the argument, and get drawn in.* Leonidas: How did that not work, babe? Monroe told me it would! Gorgo: Oh, you took advice from Monroe, that helps nothing! Adam: Say… what happened? Leonidas: Monroe told me a way to make up for what I did to Gorgo, but it didn’t work! Eve: And what exactly was it? Gorgo: Pinching me on the butt does not apologize, in anything! Adam: Oooooh boy… *Watson watches his “alliance” get absorbed into the argument, and pulls a screwdriver out of his jacket, unscrewing the wheels just enough so that they won’t fall apart until moving. Feeling great about this, he slowly moves onto more, making sure no one sees him.* Eve: So, let me get this straight; you listened and took advice from Monroe… Monroe?! Leonidas: Yes! She’s bound to know everything about being a woman, she does it so well! Eve: What does that mean? Adam: Leonidas, watch it, you’re heading on thin ice! *Watson finishes up the last Segway left aside from one, and gets on his, the one he didn’t sabotage, and rides away, making sure he goes unnoticed.* Leonidas: I mean, she’s so perfect at being a woman, she’d know everything! *Adam facepalms. Zulu, Caesar, Washington and Wallace show up, getting the suggestions and getting on Segways, which fall apart, then move onto others, before trying them all, giving up, and walking. the two couples don’t notice.* Julius Caesar: Peasants, arguing over nonsense. William Wallace: How would you know what nonsense is? Julius Caesar: Cause one is talking to me right now, wearing an ugly skirt! William Wallace: Pssssht, yeah right! Look at yew! *Zulu stares at the camera annoyed. The scene then switches to Zach on the napkin.* Zach Sherwin: With 16 teams still on their way, and no one win- *Copperfield and Houdini roll up on Segways, smiling.* Zach Sherwin: ...fifteen teams still on their way, and no one winning… who will make it second? And who’s on their ride out? Tune in to find out, after the break. *The camera shows the teams still left to fight at the beginning match; Bill, Ted, Beethoven, Bieber, Adam, Jamie, Miley, Joan, Lee, Eastwood, Oprah, and Ellen all making their way to the Segways, with Capone, Cleopatra, Romeo, Juliet, Bonnie and Clyde still stuck trying to fight. Capone is fighting Sun for Cleopatra.* Sun Tzu: With all of these fights with you, I know all of your moves, so- *Capone charges at Sun, knocking him down.* Al Capone: There ya go, missus. One challenge won for you. Cleopatra: Oh, thanks, you’re so kind!~ *Monroe and Cleo giggle hysterically, confusing Capone.* Al Capone: What’s so funny? Marilyn Monroe: Oh, nothing. Al Capone: C’mon, let’s go! Marilyn Monroe: Wait up, sillies! *Capone and Blackbeard run off. Cleopatra and Monroe begin to cry of laughter, confusing Romeo and Juliet.* Romeo: W-what’s so funny? Cleopatra: Oh, nothing. Just cost Capone and Blackbeard an elimination. Bonnie Parker: Oh, clever. But how, might I ask? Marilyn Monroe: Blackbeard was supposed to fight Sun, and they didn’t get their tip. Now Cleo, do the honors. *Cleopatra steps to Sun, who bows, and allows an open shot.* Sun Tzu: You have impressed me with your wits. Cleopatra: Oh, thank you! *Cleopatra begins to punch him, only for him to grab and twist her arm.* Sun Tzu: Did you think I would give up that easily? I may be kind, but I’m not weak. *Cleopatra elbows Sun in the gut, causing him to double over in pain.* Sun Tzu: But… you’re smart, so… guh… *Cleopatra and Monroe walk off, smiling at their first sabotage. Bonnie and Clyde walk up to Sun, who’s still in pain, on his knees.* Clyde Barrow: Bonk. *Clyde shoves Sun with his leg, and the two walk off, leaving Romeo and Juliet alone.* Romeo: So, everyone did it, okay… I can do this… Juliet: You’ve been sitting here for hours, love… just fight him! Romeo: A-alright… I’ll do it… I think… *gulp* *Romeo goes over to fight Sun, who stands up and punches him directly in the nose, knocking Romeo over.* Romeo: AIEE! MY NOSE! Juliet: Come on, Romeo, I believe in you! *sigh* *The camera cuts to the remaining teams all gathered at the Segways, many angry that they have to walk, while Adam, Eve, Leonidas, and Gorgo debate.* Beethoven: Great… Bruce Lee: Oh, perfect! Someone destroyed the Segways! I bet it was Caesar or Wallace! Or, even the magicians! They’re always getting ahead! Al Capone: Aight, Blackbeard, looks like we’s gotta run! Blackbeard: Yargh! *Blackbeard and Capone take off, Bruce Lee and Eastwood right on their trail. Other teams notice and begin to run immediately. Leonidas, Gorgo, Adam, and Eve also notice, and begin to run. The camera cuts to the Safety Napkin.* Zach Sherwin: And, the second place winner is- *Watson rolls up on his Segway, a smug look on his face. He gets off and steps onto the matt.* Dr. Watson: So, how long of a penalty? Zach Sherwin: Since you did the challenge right, until your teammate shows up… so yeah, good luck with that. Dr. Watson: Dammit! That could be never! *Washington and Wallace show up to the napkin, with Zulu and Caesar an inch behind them.* Zach Sherwin: Barbarians, you’re second! Cunning, you’re third! Both teams board Flight A! Julius Caesar: Oh bother. George Washington: In your face, losers! *Washington and Wallace begin to airhump in victory, Zulu backing away as Caesar walks past Zach.* George Washington: I can feel the victory! William Wallace: Let’s rub it in their faces! *Zulu runs by awkwardly, leaving the two to airhump.* Zach Sherwin: Please stop with the PDA. *The camera shows Oprah, Ellen, Jamie, Adam, Blackbeard, Capone, Lee, Eastwood, Cleo, Monroe, Adam, Eve, Leonidas, Gorgo, Bill, Ted, Beethoven, Bieber, Bonnie, Clyde, all in a mob, jogging towards victory. Bonnie and Clyde stop to look behind them, and Adam and Eve do as well.* Adam: What’re you two looking at, exactly? Clyde Barrow: Lookie. See anyone back there? Eve: Not really, no. Bonnie Parker: Good, that means the dorks Romeo and Juliet still haven’t finished. Adam: As expected. They’ve got no connection, no love, no nothing. Stupid teens. Clyde Barrow: Say, when they lose, wanna rub it in their faces? Eve: Deal. Agreed, Adam? Adam: Agreed. Eve: Good. Bonnie Parker: Let’s walk and talk, while we at it. Nothin’ to lose. Adam: Yeah… wait, aren’t we missing someone, Eve? Eve: Huh? *The camera cuts back to the Safety Napkin, with everyone approaching. Washington and Wallace are still airhumping.* Zach Sherwin: And fourth goes to… *Everyone swarms the napkin, Zach stopping teams, Adam and Jamie in front.* Zach Sherwin: Fourth for Scientists, fifth for Failed Marriage… you top off Flight A. *Leonidas cheers while Gorgo pouts, and Adam and Jamie high five.* Zach Sherwin: Next five, in order… Queens, Extremists, Generation Gap, Wyld Stallyns, and Alter Egos, you’re on flight B! *Cleo and Monroe cheer, Clint cheers while Bruce pouts, Beethoven and Bieber high five, Bill and Ted high five as well, and Miley and Joan look at Zach confused.* Zach Sherwin: Hosts, you’re eleventh! *Oprah sarcastically cheers while Ellen jumps for joy.* Zach Sherwin: Now, Criminals, Rebels, Love Birds… go stand over there. Al Capone: Uh, why? Zach Sherwin: Let’s see… Capone, you punched Sun when Blackbeard should’ve done it, and forgot to grab your tip… Bonnie was supposed to fight Sun, but Clyde did… *Bonnie sighs while Clyde facepalms.* Zach Sherwin: And Adam and Eve, you skipped the first challenge. Adam: D’oh! Al Capone: God dammit! Zach Sherwin: With everyone on a penalty, you guys will have until Sherlock shows up. *Bonnie and Clyde glare at Zach, Adam and Eve hug each other worriedly, and Capone tosses his hat down on the ground furiously while Blackbeard stomps his feet.* Al Capone: This ain’t fair, darnit! Bonnie Parker: At least Romeo and Juliet’ll be last, right? Adam: Oh, we can stop them until Sherlock shows up. *Watson whistles innocently, now waiting against Sherlock’s arrival. The camera cuts to Romeo, crying while curled up in a ball, and Juliet watching in horror as Sun Tzu kicks Romeo repeatedly.* Romeo: I was not meant for this challenge! Juliet: Oh, could you please stop for a little bit? Give Romeo a chance! Sun Tzu: What? It’s fun to kick a man while he’s down! Romeo: We’re going home, and it’s my fault! Everyone’s probably won by now! Juliet: Drat… third gone, imagine that… Sun Tzu: Maybe if you guys had courage… *cough* Romeo: What does that even mean? I have plenty courage! *Romeo whimpers as Sun kicks him again.* Sun Tzu: I’m just kicking you, dude. Seriously, all there is to it. Romeo: Yes, and now my butt’s numb! And I think my spleen is bleeding! Sun Tzu: You should’ve gotten up earlier, just saying… Juliet: Oh, this is no use… we’re out. *Juliet sits down and cries on the ledge, concerning Romeo.* Juliet: Looks like we’ve had a nice run… all I wanted was to spend time with you, Romeo… *Romeo stand up in pain, hunched-walking over to Juliet.* Romeo: I am sorry, my love, but alas, I am numb and bruised! There is not much I can do! I have no strength left! Juliet: It’s alright… I’m sure everyone will mock us… or you… for losing. But it was my fault… I brought us down… if you had pushed us, this would not have happened. Romeo: Clearly it was me… besides, if you did have to fight Sun, you’d be beaten senseless and I’d be alone! I could not risk losing my love to a war master! You’d stand no chance! No offense. *Sun Tzu blushes. Romeo sits up against the wall, rubbing his butt. Just then, a helicopter flies overhead, Sherlock heard screaming in it.* Romeo: We’re done for, Juliet, they’re here for us! *Romeo and Juliet watch the helicopter, get up to go, but pause first as it flies away.* Romeo: Well, Zach doesn’t even want to come get us… I’m sorry, Juliet! I truly am! Juliet: Whatever it be, I’ll know it means much, but is for no real reason. You’re always sorry, you emotional sack of bad luck. *Romeo and Juliet kiss, warming Sun Tzu’s heart, causing him to cry. He falls to the ground, sniffling. Putting one hand up, he points them to the Safety Napkin.* Sun Tzu: Just go… *sniff* this was beautiful… *Romeo and Juliet walk away, accepting their fate, but not before Romeo kicks Sun Tzu over onto his back.* Romeo: This is for making my butt numb! Sun Tzu: *Moaning in pain* ''I deserved it… ow… ''*The camera cuts to the safety napkin, with the penalized teams watching in joy as Sherlock shows up, flown in via helicopter.* Adam: So, are we in now? Zach Sherwin: Nope. Since you’re off the matt, as soon as he shows up, you have to touch it. Al Capone: I still call bullsh- Sherlock Holmes: SAY, WATSON, WANT SOME TEA? *Looking upwards at Sherlock in the helicopter, Watson’s eyes widen, and he giggles maniacally, thinking.* Dr. Watson: PISH PASH WISH WASH! Sherlock Holmes: Okay, I’ll drop the pot to you! *Watson walks backwards to Bonnie and Clyde, and Sherlock throws a teapot, Watson moves just at the right time to allow it to hit Clyde in the face. Watson then pretends to trip, pushing Bonnie to the ground, cushioning his own fall on Clyde.* Clyde Barrow: Get off of me! Dr. Watson: Sorry, gov’nor! Truly am, yes, yes, pip! *Bonnie tries to pull Watson off, but he remains seated on Clyde’s chest. Whilst Bonnie pulls his arm, Sherlock hovers on a ladder, just a foot above the ground.* Sherlock Holmes: Oh yeah, I forgot… I’m afraid of heights! Catch me, Watson! Zach Sherwin: Just jump. It’s a foot. Literally a foot. Sherlock Holmes: It seems like miles to go! Zach Sherwin: No… it’s. A. Foot. A foot, you detective! Sherlock Holmes: Well, you’re more likely to break a bone falling down a foot, because you’ll break the foot’s bone! *Zach watches as Sherlock struggles to jump from the ladder as Watson buys time pinning Clyde down.* Bonnie Parker: Oh, ya wanna fight, ya British bastard? Dr. Watson: My foot’s asleep, jeepies my creepies! Clyde Barrow: I’ll put your heart to sleep, asshole! *Watson elbows Clyde in the arm.* Clyde Barrow: Oh, you little- *The camera shows Romeo and Juliet walking together, smiling and talking.* Romeo: Oh, and the time I broke my wrist while eating? It was a smoothie, so technically I was drinking, but still! I guess I am a bag of bad luck! Juliet: Yes, but you’re my bag of bad luck. *giggle* Romeo: So, how’ll we be treated when we lose? I think Zach is going to laugh at us. I mean, we’re the most pathetic team he’s seen, probably! Juliet: Oh, we’re not pathetic, we’re just third out overall. Not too shabby for my clumsy husband.~ Romeo: Zach’s probably growing mad by now. We should run before he kills us. Juliet: Agreed… Romeo: Hey, Juliet… mind if I help you? Juliet: Wha- *Romeo gently picks up Juliet, running and carrying her to the Safety Napkin, causing her to blush. At said safety napkin Watson gets annoyed by Sherlock not getting down, and gets off of Clyde, who swears while getting up. Watson steps onto the empty safety zone, and grabs Sherlock from behind, wrapping his arms around Sherlock’s stomach as he flails his limbs in the air. The helicopter leaves.* Zach Sherwin: Put him down, now, and you’re in. Sherlock Holmes: And let me plummet to my death? No way! *Watson looks behind him, waiting for Romeo and Juliet. As the penalized teams watch nervously off of the matt, Romeo shows up carrying Juliet, both looking rather sad. Watsons struggles with the weight of Sherlock, knees wobbling.* Romeo: We’re sorry for the wait, Zach… *Romeo pauses in front of the napkin, confused.* Romeo: Say, why are they here? Do they want to mock us? *Romeo, nervously looking at the three annoyed teams and Sherlock flailing his arms, carries Juliet onto the matt, and slowly lowers her to get out of his arms. She hugs him, looking at Zach.* Zach Sherwin: They’re here because they haven’t won! You’re twelfth! Congrats! *Romeo and Juliet look shocked at each other, then cheer for joy; Romeo lifts her up, hugging her to his chest, and spins around happily. Watson drops Sherlock, and the penalized teams run the the Napkin…* Clyde Barrow: Watch the feet, pre-teen! *Juliet’s feet hit Clyde, causing him to stumble back before he can step on the Safety Napkin, while all the other teams make it on, at least at first glance...* Juliet: Sorry… heh… *Embarrassed, Juliet wraps her legs around Romeo, and he carries her off to flight C.* Zach Sherwin: Defectives, you’re thirteenth. Criminals, fourteenth. Which leaves… *Adam, Eve, Bonnie and Clyde look at each other nervously.* Zach Sherwin: The Love Birds at fifteenth. Bonnie and Clyde, you face elimination. Clyde Barrow: Oh, ha ha, very funny. I think Watson deserves some sort of penalty for randomly tackling me… and the stupid teens for being both an embarrassing couple and purposely kicking my beautiful face! Zach Sherwin: Sorry, but it both incidents were an accident. Clyde Barrow: They was not, asshole! Dr. Watson: Pardon your French! Clyde Barrow: Oh, you are dead to me! *Clyde prepares to punch Watson, stepping onto the Safety Napkin, only for Sun Tzu to karate chop him on the shoulder. Adam laughs, one foot off of the matt. Looking around nervously, Bonnie suddenly notices, face glowing bright.* Bonnie Parker: Hey, wait a minute! Adam ain’t on the matt! Adam: Huh? *Adam looks down nervously, panicking. Zach notices quickly, and grabs Adam and Eve.* Adam: Whoops… *Eve glares at Adam.* '' Zach Sherwin: Well, it looks like the Rebels ''aren’t going home. First, it wasn’t Watson, then Romeo and Juliet, then Bonnie and Clyde… and now you! It’s a non-elimination! Eve: Whoo! Adam: Yes! Zach Sherwin: Just kidding! You’re out. *Adam and Eve get mad, Sun Tzu dragging them off.* Bonnie Parker: So, now that we’s still in… *Bonnie grabs Watson by the collar, and puts a fist to his face.* Bonnie Parker: Oh, we gots an eye on you, British beanbag. You think you’re so sneaky, but you ain’t. We see right through you… *Watson gulps nervously. Sherlock marches up to Bonnie, yelling.* Sherlock Holmes: Hands off of my buddy, not-buddy! Clyde Barrow: Don’t yell at my lady, not-lady! *Sherlock and Clyde glare at each other as Romeo and Juliet walk to the plane, Juliet still being carried, with Capone and Blackbeard not far behind. The camera shows Adam and Eve being dragged off by Sun.* Adam: I liked it better when it was Romeo and Juliet up for elimination. Eve: Now who’ll help Leonidas and Gorgo? *Sun Tzu throws Adam and Eve into a helicopter, and begins to talk with the pilot.* Adam: Well, this sure does suck. Eve: We had a lot to offer, too… what do British Boneheads and the teenagers have that we don’t? ''' '''Adam: I don’t know… heck, what do Bonnie and Clyde have to offer? Eve: To think, we would’ve won if it wasn’t for their poor sportsmanship. Adam: Hypocrites. Can’t take a loss, so throw it at someone else? How rude. Eve: If we ever see them again… we’re not talking to them. Right? Adam: Yes, dear. *The helicopter takes off, with Sun Tzu walking towards the camera in the sunset. The camera cuts to Zach walking from the safety napkin, along the wall.* Zach Sherwin: As some director would say, “What a twist!”. Now, with fifteen teams left, we’re headed into the land of the gods- one could call it their birthplace- for a day at the Olympics! Who will fall to the last? Who will pull the gold? Will Watson make a move? Tune in to find out, here on… The Rizachulous Race! Category:Blog posts